NY State of Mind

When I tell people that I live in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn they often respond with "Whaaaaat?! Why would you want to live in the toughest part of Brooklyn?" I've also been asked, "Do you feel safe there?"

I find these responses ignorant and misinformed. My neighborhood is like any NYC neighborhood. We are able to sniff out visitors by their constant examination of the sidewalk. I never feel threatened because I walk these streets with my head up, even when I'm approaching areas where I would normally feel uncomfortable (which can be right around the corner from the prettiest block). Today, I read this post and it summed up my how I feel about living in my Brooklyn neighborhood that birthed the diamonds Notorious B.I.G., Sean "Jay-Z" Carter, and Shirley Chisholm.

"My bed's in the stuy..."

Must Sees!

This holiday season, I am making it a point to indulge myself in all NYC has to offer. In addition to the many holiday parties to attend, I will enjoy ice skating at Central Park, holiday festivities at Rockefeller Center, Macy's shopping, and spectaculars are Grand Central Station, this holiday season will be magical. I also plan to attend these awesome performances:

A Bronx Tale on Broadway:
My all-time favorite movie is now on Broadway, written and starring Chazz Palminteri.

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater at the New York City Center:
I've been trying to see an Alvin Ailey dance performance since I made it to the east coast.

Old People Love Money

A story written through a shared writing experience with my class:

I found $100 on my way to school. It was on the ground in a plastic bag on the subway platform. I was going to school on the subway and the train was running late. I was tired from waiting but was really excited to find this $100 bill. An old woman with an orange skirt and blue shirt saw me pick up the bag of money. She whined, "Can I have it, please?" "No!" I laughed and skipped to the store on the subway platform. I then bought 100 bottles of water using the money that I found. I gave one to everyone waiting for the train. Everyone except the whiny old lady!

Faded Pictures

Can anyone else relate to this?

You see a guy or girl and they make your heart skip a beat. You get giddy, excited and get butterflies in your belly at the thought of even approaching him. You haven't even got the nerve to approach them yet. Weeks go by and you see him again. More weeks and there's another spotting. Same reaction and even now your neck is straining as you try to just see him a little longer. You don't know what it is... he's like honey and you're a bee that has to be all up in it!

I think I'll continue to enjoy this feeling until it's unbearable...

Or how about a past lover...?

Whenever you see him/her or even a picture of him/her, your mind drifts away to bedtime moments that have been locked away and pushed to the back of your mind. And the phrase, "damn they sure knew how to [insert sexual skill here]" escapes from your lips.

I think this is the definition of missing someone or something...

Get your perks!

A great benefit of being a professional are the conferences. This weekend, I will be heading to this beautiful resort for an education conference! Great networking is to be done, along with beautiful sites to see.

What perks does your career have?

Balance: Work & Life

Lately, my co-workers and I have been discussing the difficulties of balancing our careers with our personal lives. The big lady split from her long time boyfriend because of her work commitments, and my co-teacher is concerned with the lack of time she is spending with her children. And then it's me... I leave work at a decent hour (6ish), stop at the gym, run some errands, chill at home, enjoy an evening outing a once or twice a week, and find myself in bed at a decent hour. No doubt, last year I had some time management issues, but this year I feel that I have a lot of extra down time. I even find myself taking on extra projects to keep myself busy.

Perhaps it's the new "F*ck it!* mindset-- if it gets done, it gets done and if it doesn't I'll have tomorrow. I just know I'm more productive and happier when I have all bases covered in my personal and professional life. I love my job, but I also love my overall life. This leads me to think, maybe some people are in the wrong career. Some people choose their career for the wrong reasons: to make a parent happy, to show others how you feel about a certain issue, to network with people in power, etc. I believe that your career should be personally fulfilling, not constraining.

So, ask yourself, Do I have a deeply fulfilling career?

The Best Birthday Present!

Tonight, a colleague of mine is enjoying a night on the town with, JOHN LEGEND!!! Yes, that's right. Her husband knows someone who knows him and he's in NYC recording some tracks in a studio. She gets to join him in the studio and he will be joining them for dinner. After that, they (she and her husband) will go to the movies. Two words: HE'S SET!

How can you top this?

Locks of Love

I love the makeover show "What Not to Wear"! Not only is it filmed in NYC, but I randomly saw one of the fashion experts, Clinton, in the village one evening. The fashion experts offer great styling advice for all types of body shapes and the hair and make-up transformations are applicable to everyday situations and lifestyles. Unfortunately, after agreeing to accept the makeover challenge some contestants' reluctances emerge.

The most disappointing part of an episode is when a contestant's shallowness becomes exposed
once in the presence of hairstylist, Nick Arrojo. They beg, plead, and cry for him not to cut their shoulder length or longer hair. On the last episode I watched, the complaining contestant told Nick that he could do anything to her hair, except cut it. Another contestant asked what he was thinking and when he said that he wanted to cut her snarly, shoulder length hair to her collar bone she told him that it would be too short and that she would not be able to deal with the difference. After honoring her request he politely reminded her that hair is not a permanent staple and can grow back. Go Nick!

The attachment that women have to their hair is not a new phenomena. Women spend large amounts of money and time on their hair grooming practices. Women of all races and ethnicities seem to strive for the European perception of beautiful hair: straight and long. Some women have been able to break out of those confines and appreciate their natural hair pattern of wavy, curly, or kinky. However, they are still subjected to society's perceptions of hair that is not straight and long.

There are children, men, and women that suffer from long-term medical hair loss due to medical conditions such as alopecia areata and cancer. Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces for financially disadvantaged children suffering from medical hair loss. This service restores their self-esteem and confidence while enabling them to face their hopes and dreams.

Next time, a "What Not to Wear" dysfunctional style victim whines about cutting their hair, Nick Arrojo should inform them of other's who are not so fortunate and the opportunity to help a worthy cause.

"Are you married?"

Being asked this question more than once in a day gives me an unsettling feeling...

Do you smoke?

Watch this short video of an experiment that shows what you are doing to your lungs when you smoke. I must admit, I've dabbled in social smoking since the high school years. The only "fact" that deterred me from smoking was one found at the BODIES exhibit in NYC.

Every cigarette you smoke takes 8-12 minutes off of your life.


Smokers die ten years earlier than the rest of the population.

*Touched*

I heard the words,
Saw his lips moving,
and heard his voice.
It was not the same voice I heard weeks before.
I was on the brink of tears.
It was beautiful!
He read the passage in 38 seconds with NO mistakes!
Overwhelmed with pride and excitement
Our hands met mid air for a congratulation high-five.
His sliver of silver in his eyes and dimpled smile
Showed determination and a promise for great things.
Today, I loved being a teacher :)

Does your career have purpose? Do you feel fulfilled?

I'm Just Not Into You...Right Now.

Okay, we've heard the book and the phrase before, but really... how do you tell someone this? Especially, after kind of leading them on for a while. I must admit, I'm horrible at letting people know things without beating around the bush, or ignoring and not returning phone calls. With this someone, I was into them for a quick moment. However, now I'm not seeing them in my current or future plans. Help, please!

Update: A good friend of mine suggested to one, be open and honest and two, begin Operation Opposite. With this, I do everything in the opposite manner. Thus, when they call instead of pick-up I ignore the call. Already, I was tricked tonight because I deleted a number and when Mr. Man called... I didn't recognize the number with the name. This is going to be hard!

Quitters!

Teaching...teaching...teaching! Over my first two years as a teacher, I have learned so much about myself. During the first year, I learned that I am a planner and that in education it is important to be flexible and adaptable. This year, I am seeing the importance of that lesson more and more everyday. Unfortunately, some of my colleagues have not been able to grasp this concept and are finding themselves quite fed up. So much that, two teachers have already quit this year.

When I first heard the news, I was saddened because both were great additions to the staff. But next, I felt invincible! I had survived longer than those weaklings! I feel that my tenacity and dedication to the movement has carried me through the good times and the very very bad. However, I realized that these qualities make me no better than these other teachers. This mix of emotion reminded me of a time during undergrad where I, too was a quitter. There was a certain activity in which I was participating that conflicted with all things that I valued at the time: my education, family, and personal development. Although I had every intention to finish and continue doing my best in this activity, the conflict it created in my heart made that task unbearable. Upon quitting, I was hurt more by the fact that I had not finished than by the harm that it did to my personal values.

I imagine the two escapees must be feeling similar to how I felt years ago. At this point in my life, I can't think of anything that is worth participating in if it doesn't bring you some type of joy, satisfaction, or self-improvement. Let your passions drive your career!

Hip-Hop Speaks Out

David Banner has taken it upon himself to speak to politicians in regards to hip-hop lyrics. In this transcript, Banner provides an eloquent view on hip-hop, media, and society.

"I am one of the few artists who went to college. I still see my friends who, as college graduates, are unable to get a job. The truth is that what we do sells. Often artists try to do different types of music and their music doesn't sell. In America, the media only lifts up negativity." (Banner)

As an educator, it is difficult to sell the "American dream" of a college education that to students who encounter unemployed college-graduates daily. It is so rare for them to come across the employed college graduate who's idea of success is giving back to the community and making money, as opposed to just the latter. That is the example that I try to set in my career and I take it seriously! Everyone deserves to reach beyond the K-12 public/charter/private school education and to demand that future generations do so as well. If not, when will the receive their true histories and identities?

I Put a Spell On You

I'm beginning to believe that my ex-boyfriend cursed me. Okay, maybe he didn't. I have to blame things on someone. On a recent date with someone I've been seeing on and off for a year now, we were discussing our....duh duh duuuuuh...future. This conversation was not that surprising coming from him because it often comes up. As I began to discuss what I was looking for and how he was lacking it he reminded me, "You see. I told you that you were strict!" The conversation continued to revolve around my strict nature and impossible expectations. This dude made it sound like I was wearing an ironclad chastity belt!

I don't consider myself strict at all. I'm just old school in some areas. I demand respect, attention, and consideration. Simple.

Thinking back to my past relationship, which was quite ideal for the time, I was quite comfortable and was able to let my guard down...LOVE. Once you suffer heart break, no matter how timely it is in your life, it's hard to bounce back with the same trust and openness. At least that's what I'm finding. I'm imagining my past months of dating: what if I was open and jumped in not thinking about the possibility of getting hurt again? It's easier said than done. But like my last relationship, if I am able to say that I had a good time after it's over and done (which I did!), that's all that matters.

Try it! I will...

What's on your bookshelf?

I love a GREAT book! I love sharing books with friends and having them tell me about a recent read that moved them. Even today, I found myself in a "book" conversation with one of my best friends. I went down the list of books I looked up regarding dating, uncovering the male thought, and relationships between adult children and their parents. After that conversation I consulted the September 2007 Best Sellers List in Essence Magazine and I noticed something frightening: the non-fiction authors read like a list from People Magazine's Most Influential and I only recognized four of the fiction authors. I believe I have an impressive book collection for someone my age, but viewing that list made me wonder...Who are the literary geniuses of our generation?

Kick it.

What I'm reading now: Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon

Survey: What chew want?!?

I want to open it up to see what you want me to write about on BloomingNYC.blogspot.com. Below, I’ve included some examples of the areas that I have written about in the past and can write about. Are there others? If you could have me write a custom article just for you, what would it be on?

Leave a comment and let me know what you’d like to see me write about. Below, some ideas to get started. Also, check out what I've said in the past on the right hand side.

Relationships:

• Dating: learning from past relationships, current relationships and realizations, male-thought, dating outside of your comfort zone
  
• Friendships: cultivating last friendships from a distance and in new locations
  
• Parents: understanding parents as an adult child
  

Personal Development:

• Self-Esteem: the role of media and pop-culture.
  
• Health/Fitness: healthy regimens in diet and exercise, lifestyle
  
• Beauty: personal style and worth
• Life Lessons in purpose, spirituality, life, and love
  

Education:

• Higher Education: pursuing of graduate studies (while working full-time), finding the right program
• K-12 Teachers: reflections from the classroom

Entertainment:

• Hot Spots: restaurants, bars, lounges/nightclubs in NYC
• Book & Music Reviews: suggestions of the latest (worth-while) literature and music
• Quizzes
  

Leave a comment: What would you like me to write about?

Kick it!

Multi-deminsional: Parents

Last night, I was with a friend waiting for the bus and as they were looking at the schedule their stance reminded them of a comment made by their father. My friend Sam* said that he was looking at a picture with his hand on his hip and his father said, "Why are you standing like that?"
"Like what?" Sam replied.
"Like that! It's feminine!" He answered in a thick Creole accent.
Sam recalled his confusion and questioned whether or not it was because of the fact that his hand was on his hip, or maybe his hip was cocked, or maybe...he couldn't figure it out.

His confusion with the episode reminded me of my older brother's over analysis of my Dad's comments towards him. Additionally, the way he brushed off his Dad's opinion made we wonder about the nature of their relationship.

"Do you get along well with your Dad?" I asked.

Sam's reply was a culmination of the feelings I had towards my father, which had taken years and tears to understand. Yet, Sam made it sound so simple.

"I respect my Dad as a guy. But as a husband and father, I can say that I agree with what he's done."

For those who struggle with parental relationships for whatever reason, relax. Although you may feel anger towards one of your parents it is not because of hate. It is simply a break down of respect. We all have our own standards based on our past experiences. You should always respect your parents because they are people, your elders to be exact. However, you do not have to respect the decisions they make as a husband or parent because those decisions are based on their past. Until you understand their past and why they are the way that they are, you will not respect that side of them.

What comments or sayings from parents get under your skin or do you find repeating to yourself?

Kick it!

Your Introduction Song

While enjoying the player's songs at Mets baseball game, a friend of mine asked,

"What would be your introduction song when you walk in a room?"

Since baseball players get three songs, I had to think of three songs that would get me excited and represents a part of me. My line up:

1. Where I'm From by Jay-Z
2. Can't Tell Me Nothing by Kanye West
3. Rock The Bells by LL Cool J

If you could choose three songs to play when you enter a room, what would they be?

Kick it!

Ring the alarm!

Those who know me, know that I have key pieces of jewelry that I wear daily: my necklace with three important charms (tiara, treble clef, and clarinet), my silver hoop earings, and my rings. Each piece of jewelry is sentimental in some way, especially my rings. One ring was a gift from my favorite uncle worn on the right ring finger, another was an awesome ring from Disney World worn on the right index finger, and the last was a present for myself after the first semester of my freshman year (I did well!) worn on the left ring finger. Although they were not fancy, the one on the left had been mistaken for a wedding ring in the past.

I am a key believer that everything happens for a reason and if you want things to happen you have to speak it into existence and act as if you already have it or that is on its way. I thought about this one day while looking at the ring on my ring fingers. At the time, I was in a great relationship with someone I believed I could marry. But when I looked down at my ring finger, I could not imagine that finger bare or with another ring being there. I was not ready.

After that relationship, I was hesitant to date in my new city. But, NYC treated me well. I have met so many gentleman that have treated me like a princess! Most notably, was the rebound guy. It took me a while to accept his purpose as we decided to step back and become friends, but I now understand. I am now in the beginning stages with someone who makes me loose my breath whenever I see and hear them, and sees my inner and outer beauty as clear as day.

I am now single and dating and it has been two weeks without a single ring on my hands!

I feel on top of my game in most facets of my life. My heart is shinning bright and so is my smile. In my mind and heart, I see what I want out of a relationship. I am ready to use my past lessons to take my current relationship to new heights, if that is in God's plan. I am ready for LOVE!

Address the World's Water Crisis

Two summers ago, an intelligent gentleman and his father started an Internet company: H2bid.com

What does the website do? "We're basically the Ikea of water and wastewater contract opportunities. When a city/country needs a new drainage system they request quotes; usually from the 5 vendors they know of. We provide 24/7 access to water and wastewater contract opportunities from around the world to make the process a little more competitive. When your car needs new brake pads you usually get as many estimates as you can. H2bid.com applies the same thinking to the water and wastewater industries."

In hopes of growing their business, they entered the Forbes.com Boost Your Business Contest along with 900 other small business. Two weeks ago they were named one of 20 semi-finalists.

Help address the world's water crisis and support a great business by voting for H2bid.com here.

For more information about H2bid.com, please visit: http://h2bid.com/aboutus.aspx

Atlantic Slaves Honored

Ceremony that honors the millions of Africans who died crossing the Atlantic Ocean during the slave trade, also known as the Middle Passage.



read more | digg story

New Edition: If It Isn't Love

I just want to know...

Heaven: The Way I See It #230 (Starbucks Coffee Cup)

"Heaven is totally overrates. It seems boring. Clouds, listening to people play the harp. It should be somewhere you can't wait to go, like a luxury hotel. Maybe blue skies and soft music were enough to keep people in line in the 17th century, but Heaven has to step it up a bit. They're basically getting by because they only have to be better than Hell." -- Joel Stein, Columnist for the L.A. Times

Now, I believe in Heaven, but I'm also feeling this. I look forward to having eternal life more than I think about Heaven. Is that the same? All I know is that it (Heaven) does sound better than hell. However, in the mean time I'm also enjoying certain things on earth while I can :-)

If Hip-Hop Was 'The Wire' Then...

A must-read comparison of HBO's 'The Wire' and hip-hop.



read more | digg story

Left...Eric Roberson

Those that know me, know that I love Eric Roberson's music! It happened at my Alma mater, Fall 04'. My girl C.D. brought over some Cd's and we listened and drank. The soulful lyrics I heard made my heart and mind drift to past loves (Past Paradise), current flames (Deaf Ears), and future romances (Back to You). That was Presents: The Vault, Vol 1.5. When in Washington D.C. I went to two of his shows and a good friend of mine surprised me with The Appetizer. Instead of satisfying my hunger until the next album dropped, it instead made my hunger for more. Good thing I moved to NYC and was introduced to SOBs where Eric Roberson hosts their Sol Village showcase. Yay!

The intimate environment at this venue allowed me to enjoy the tunes of this independent artist in a totally new light. He not only worked the crowd by mingling with patrons, but we also shared a joking moment when he sat my table and chatted me up. Then, Left...

I purchased the album that night and listened to it on my disc man on the subway. The album took me back to experiencing the love of music (Music), the pleasures of a new relationship with a friend (Been in Love) and the pains of a break-up (Iluv2much), coping with that pain (Pen Just Cries Away), and then emerging from that experience with a greater understanding (Open Your Eyes). It also opened my eyes to the importance of my potential for growth as a young lady (Pretty Girl), in addition to hopes of a new, beautiful relationship (Too Soon). Couldn't Hear Her, Roberson's rendition of The Vault's Couldn't Hear Me, surrounds listeners with a juxtaposition of the original and a new perspective on the fate of a relationship in a symphony of life.

Natural Beauty

I love my hair! This new found love was not acquired until Fall of 2004, when I was finished transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair. Once I cut the final remnants of relaxed hair I felt connected to the real me. Over the years, this love has grown as I have come to understand how unique my hair is and just how versatile it is. I love running my fingers close to my scalp and feeling the tiny curls that spring from it!

Last month I got my hair braided and I've been surprised at the new attention I receive from the opposite sex. My cousin once told me that males love the fantasy of long hair. She said, "It's 85% of what they look for." Now, as much as I honor the advice of someone older than me, I did have to consider her perspective, an entertainer. Lately, I've been pondering our conversation. Would I get the same recognition from these males if I wore my hair in an afro, twists, or locs? Some of my colleagues have even commented on the difference in appearance that I now have with my braids.

I sometimes find it difficult to believe in the true definition my individual beauty in a society that values the generic, euro centric type. It's even more difficult to do this when brothas feed into the latter. Now, I realize that my hair, relaxed, braided or natural, attracts certain type guy, but shouldn't my personality be the determining factor as opposed to my hair?

Reading about other people's lives...

My good friend of mine shared this forum topic with me: Reading about other people's lives makes me dislike my own.

I found the advice universal for enjoying your entire or different aspects of your life.

Enjoy!

The Kissing Game

The other day I was catching up with an old friend and some how we got on the topic of firsts kisses. You've met the cutie and you are now flirting with the thought of kissing those tempting lips. Is it too early? Do you ask? Or do you just go in for the kill? I explained, "Although it's a nice gesture, it kills the mood if you ask." I continued by explaining that sometimes people are so afraid of rejection that they inadvertently provide the opportunity to be rejected. Meaning, when you ask you give someone the opportunity to say yes or no along with a reason. If you just do it, you still run the risk of rejection but you still accomplished your goal. This is a lesson I learned about a year ago (Thank God!). This article provides more information on Creating Tension for a Great Kiss.

Enjoy!

Books: The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho

I bought this book on my way to Washington, D.C. Memorial Day weekend. I'm surprised I was able to put it down to enjoy the company of friends! Finishing before I returned to NYC, I was left amazed by Coelho's powerful novel. In addition to The Alchemist, this novel inspires to pursue passions, purposes, and love deeply.

From Publishers Weekly
Multimillion-seller Coelho (The Devil and Miss Prym, etc.) returns with another uncanny fusion of philosophy, religious miracle and moral parable. The Portobello of the title is London's Portobello Road, where Sherine Khalil, aka Athena, finds the worship meeting she's leading—where she becomes an omniscient goddess named Hagia Sophia—disrupted by a Protestant protest. Framed as a set of interviews conducted with those who knew Athena, who is dead as the book opens, the story recounts her birth in Transylvania to a Gypsy mother, her adoption by wealthy Lebanese Christians; her short, early marriage to a man she meets at a London college (one of the interviewees); her son Viorel's birth; and her stint selling real estate in Dubai. Back in London in the book's second half, Athena learns to harness the powers that have been present but inchoate within her, and the story picks up as she acquires a "teacher" (Deidre O'Neill, aka Edda, another interviewee), then disciples (also interviewed), and speeds toward a spectacular end. Coelho veers between his signature criticism of modern life and the hydra-headed alternative that Athena taps into. Athena's earliest years don't end up having much plot, but the second half's intrigue sustains the book. (May)

Can Hip-Hop culture survive without the N word, the B word, and the H word?

From Yahoo! Group Black on Black Vibe (BOBV):

That seems to be the million-dollar question being asked now that
the Don Imus incident has put the spotlight on the hip-hop and urban
slang vernacular.

Because rappers and rap have been the main vehicles that have
chronicled hip-hop and urban culture, many outside the culture have
only been exposed to the negative lingo within the culture. Those
who live, grow up, and who are the culture know that everyone from
the urban community/culture DO NOT use and/or promote that type of
language.

One person in particular is Randy Kearse Aka Mo Betta, author of,
STREET TALK: Da Official Guide to Hip-Hop & Urban Slangauge. A 700
page lexicon which documents the unique language spoken in the hip-
hop and urban culture.

What makes this one of a kind dictionary/guide so unique is... You
will NOT find the N word, the B word or the H word (used in a way to
degrade women) anywhere in STREET TALK. Once asked in an
interview, "why did you leave these words out of the dictionary when
they're so widely used in the music and culture?" Mo Betta response
was, "just because people use these words fluently doesn't make the
usage right. No matter how you spell a derogatory word, its
derogatory meaning still stays the same."

Mr. Kearse self published STREET TALK in September 2005. Ninety days
later it was picked up by on of the leading independent publishing
houses in the country, Barricade Books Inc. December 2005. STREET
TALK hit stores in winter 2006.

Way ahead of the controversy that surrounds the hip-hop and urban
verbiage today, Randy has compiled the most extensive and authentic
array of hip-hop and urban slang ever as a means to document the
intricate way that people within these cultures communicate.

The answer is.... YES! Hip-Hop can survive without the N word, the B
word, and the H word... STREET TALK: Da Official Guide to Hip-Hop &
Urban Slanguage proves that.

TUNE IN MAY 17th, 11:30pm to the Colbert Report on Comedy Central
and watch Mr. Kearse discuss the intricacies of hip-hop and urban
lingo with host Stephen Colbert

-Randy Kearse

70% of African American Women are Single!

Success: Is it your degree or when you start your family?

"I wish that someone had said to me when I was twenty years old that having a baby is an incredibly powerful experience, that if you have the slightest inkling that you might want to do it, you should pay attention to that inkling and factor in wanting to have a child and have a family as ardently as you're factoring in your professional trajectory, and no one said that to me. What happened was I spent most of my life trying not to have a baby and thinking that the time would be right and that having a baby was as easy as riding a bicycle, nothing I had to think too hard about, because I could just get pregnant at any point. I really wish someone had told me that. Instead I was told a lot of, "Develop yourself, cultivate yourself, travel, excel at your academic pursuits." Somehow the idea of developing yourself was separate from having a child. I've grown much more from having a child than going to Yale, for instance." Rebecca Walker, daughter of writer Alice Walker

One day in high school, my math teacher and the class were discussing our different views of success. He added that for some people, being successful is starting a family and for others, it is their academic and/or career achievements. Lately, I have been thinking about my personal view on success compared to what others my age "may" be thinking. Although I am proud of my friends who have decided to start a family in their early twenties, I sometimes feel a sense of hurt seeing their talent "wasted". Sonny from The Bronx Tale (my favorite movie) said, "There's nothing sadder than wasted talent" and I totally agree. However, like a good friend of mine pointed out, in addition to the above quote, sometimes people become better after having a baby or starting their family. For some reason, that never crossed my mind. I've been so wrapped up in my academic/career achievement model that the success of having a family at this day and age seemed crazy to me. However, as an educator, I see how young children can bring out the best in you. I now realize that all levels and ideas of success definitely count for something. The talent is never wasted, it is just directed to the important task of raising a strong, healthy child.

This post is dedicated to my friends and family members who are young, educated, and successful mothers.

Block Party 2

I never heard so much about Dave Chappelle's Block Party until I moved to Brooklyn. I must admit, I'm probably one of the last people to have seen it. In fact, I just watched it about two weeks ago on a flight down to TX. After always making references to it and me never knowing what he's talking about, a good friend of mine..."let me borrow he's DVD".

I knew that is was filmed in Bed-Stuy in 2004 (2 years prior to my arrival) but I wasn't sure where they were exactly. That was until I watched the film. To my surprise, they were right around the corner from my job! I've actually walked down that street and have been inside the same Salvation Army that was in the film.

Now that I'm here, Dave Chappelle should do another Block Party. The Block Party 5 Year Anniversary! Same artists, same place, and the same time. I wonder...

A for Avacodo

Until recently, I have never seen avocados eaten so much! Every day in the teacher's room at my job, someone is adding this odd-colored fruit (yes, it's a fruit) to a salad or sandwich. It was my understanding that this smooth criminal was high in fat. What's the deal on the health front?

Multi-deminsional

Over the past few weeks, I have noticed the many different sides that make me who I am. I can be the sweetest of sweet and deepest of deep and, unfortunately the meanest of mean and more stern than I've ever imagined. Of course, these characteristics only come in certain situations (Thank God!), but they always surprise me.

The sweet, thoughtful and deep me comes out when I'm around people that wont take it as a weakness. It's only when I am truly comfortable and secure that I can let down my guard and show that side of me. In my past experience, people have used that as a weakness and tried to hurt me, with some succeeding. I say that if you have seen me cry, you are truly a friend of mine. However, if you have not seen me cry, you are a step or two below that coveted position. I may not trust or feel fully secure around you for one reason or another.

The mean, stern, and evil me comes out when my passions and values are treated unjustly. This could be dismissing a request, simple or difficult, that is important to me. I've been told that I am selfish, however, as a true Libra, I operate from a balanced stand point. There are things around me that need to be a certain way for me to operate to my full capacity. I must be able to explore all my passions, such as family, friends, education, and spirituality in a balanced manner. When I am not able to do this I am off. The love & security that I get from these four areas makes me the successful, blessed young lady that I am today.

I am CONSTANTLY having this view challenged! It's a learning process because maybe this self-centered view needs to and will change, but for now...this is me. This is how I operate. Balance. The next few posts will be a glimpse into how I've come to above conclusions.

Enjoy my Spring Blossoming!

Where's Jill Scott?

Valentine's Day Quizes

Try the quizzes below to help find your Valentine's Day love match! Good luck!

Catch his/her eye with a little flirting and perhaps you can get a date.

Can't figure out if it's the real thing.

The standards for your perfect mate are up to you. Help see what you want in a relationship and find the right person for you.

Are you in the right relationship?

That's That: Perception of Beauty

It was early Saturday afternoon when I decided to catch up on some music videos as I folded my laundry. I figure, I need to know what dances and song lyrics to watch out for in my classroom. R. Kelly & Snoop Dog's "That's That" comes on and I think, "Oh, this is that song I've been hearing on the radio." It's been growing on me, so I decide to watch it. As I see video chick after video chick I notice a pattern.

They're all light complexion Black women, Latinas, or white women!

I try to give R. Kelly the benefit of the doubt when I see a chick with a brown/dark complexion. But no, they put her under high beam light giving her more of a light complexion.

What are these types of images doing to the self-esteem of young Black girls who idolize these "video vixens"?

Are young girls measuring their worth based on their curvaceous curves or how much they've learned?

It has taken me many years to become comfortable with my complexion and body. As a young woman, I am still battling against society's perception of beauty that values European features as opposed to womanly curves. I'm also battling a culture that values the measurements of my bust, waist, hips, and booty as opposed to my ACT/SAT test scores or college degree!

Young Black females have the feat of going against a lot of opposition from the womb. As I begin my sixth month of teaching a second grade class of twenty boys and five girls, I take it as my personal duty to help the young ladies in my class decide how they want to measure their worth: booty or brains.

Enjoy the film!

What's your sex personality?

Ever wonder, "what's my sex personality?"

Healthy for the New Year

Happy New Year!

Many people make New Year's resolutions to better their health. This year, I began my improved health journey long before the holiday. This allowed me to work toward my goals in increments, relapse, and try it again. By the time 2007 arrived, my goals became a lifestyle change.

1. Get Active! Some people call is working out and exercising. Whatever you call it, get active! Every one's body reacts differently to different levels of activity, but mine reacts wonderfully. It helps me de-stress, sleep well, and sweat out toxins. I do two group fitness classes (hip hop aerobics, water aerobics, Pilate's, or step) two times a week, and cardio with weights another two times a week. In addition to walking more, my body feels and looks better!

2. Restful Sleep: My students know that I need my (beauty) rest! In addition to looking well rested, getting a good night's sleep is important for your mind and body to renew its self. Muscles need time to recover from exercise and the mind needs to relax to stay sharp the next day.

3. Food & Liquor: Eating and drinking healthy is definitely a lifestyle change for me. As a recent college graduate, I find myself shifting from "get drunk" drinking and late night snacking to social sipping and eating meals for nutrition eating. I only eat fish and chicken, two servings of vegetables with lunch and dinner, grains every morning, coffee every morning (helps with migraines), no pop/soda just juice and water, and no liquor. At first I tried no beer or liquor, but I decided to be reasonable with my goal. People that know me know I love to drink! However, I've decided to be more sophisticated with my drinking: great beers and wines.

4. Get some help! Talking to someone can be good for the soul! In the Black community, no one wants to seem like they have an issue. We're strong! However, therapy can be simply talking with a good friend, confidant, family member, or even a licensed therapist. I made it a goal to reach out to family and friends more often, and also be there to simply listen and be there for them. I am also looking for a life coach/therapist that can help me through my current life transition.

5. Take your vitamins! When I was younger, my parents made sure I took my Flinstone Vitamins everyday. As an young woman, it is still important for me to take a multivitamin to ensure I am providing my body with all the nutrients it needs to perform at its optimum level. Additionally, there are other dietary supplements that can benefit a healthy life style:

-Melatonin: This natural supplement supports restful sleep. (Recommended by a friend)
-Black Cohosh in Solaray Female Blen Sp-7c Black Chohosh: This Native American herb is used for premenstrual syndrome, menstrual irregularities, and symptoms that can occur during menopause. (Recommended by a friend)

To help you get started on your New Year's goals, try using this tool that a good friend of mine recommended.

Best of luck!

Hot Spots & Random Things to Do

1. Moe's Bar (South Portland & Lafayette, BK): A nice little bar in Ft. Green that has an excellent happy hour from 4-7pm: 2 for 1 drafts! And most drafts are $4. That's what I'm talking about! The Juke Box plays some good tunes and the brotha's that come through are chocolaty! Karaoke every Tuesday!
   
2. Salomon's Porch (Stuyvesant Ave & Halsey, BK): Live Jazz on Friday and Saturday nights! A nice ambiance, and the menu is simply okay for my taste. I usually have a drink, appetizer, and soup. The music makes this place a jewel in Bed-Stuy!
3. Night of the Cooker's (Fulton Ave., BK): A young, professional Black crowd that makes a nice meet-up spot for singles. There's also live music!
4. Negril Village (Greenwich Village, Man.): A beautiful spot to eat, groove to music, and meet some beautiful people. Niiiiice!!
5. SOB's (Varick & W. Houston, Man): Another hot spot for live music and great food! I enjoy Wednesday night's Sol Village hosted by Eric Roberson and the Jump n' Funk party with DJ Rich Medina. Their menu also features Latin and Brazilian specialties and great signature drinks.