Past to Present: Leaving the Ex Behind

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory

Cause I put too much energy in him and me

Can't wait til I get through this phase cause it's killing me

Too bad we can't rewrite our own history

-Keri Hilson (Energy)

Every now and then thoughts of my ex/old friend hunt me. Yes, they hunt me. Past moments, good and bad, reply in my mind and I analyze them. Sometimes I try to see if it was a time where I didn't show that I cared or loved him. Other times I wonder if he was there for me like I needed him to be. Most of the time I think about our friendship- how much fun I had and how much I learned about myself.

The nostalgia for such friendship and adventure really makes me question whether or not I can stomach living away from my friends and family in Michigan. For example, today I woke-up wanting to have coffee with my Mom, help her cook/bake in our kitchen at home, then escape to hang out with one or several of my friends to have "girlfriend" time. That past relationship filled those gaps away from home and now I'm struggling to do it on my own. I'm not saying I need to be in a relationship with a man to feel grounded in my new city, but I do need relationships, as in friendships, to help me bond and associate with others in a similar way that I would with my family and friends at home.

So far, I've been blessed with a select bunch that kinda "get me" and have really helped me transition into my new surroundings. I hope that the memories that I create on my own and with my new friends will replace the ones that hunt me from the past.

Do you think you can live away from family and close friends? What do you think you would need?

Foodie on a Diet

Out of all of my friends, I am the one that loves food! There are particular restrauants that I like to frequent because of certain meals or drinks that I can indulge in and I love trying out new spots. I also watch the Food Network and attempt to make their delicious recipes. I love food!!!

Unfortunately, this free-love for food has been one of the culprits of my weight gain (the other--inactivity). Now don't get me wrong, I still love my body and it's curves, but I know that it could look better. I also know that I shouldn't feel certain aches and pains in my body. I'm not looking to transform back into that young girl in my high school prom picture (I had no curves!), but I am hoping to shed some weight and transform my health.

Three weeks ago, I started the 50 Million Pound Challenge spearheaded by Dr. Ian Smith. I used to eat healthy, I really did. However, since starting the 30-day Meal Plan I realized that I wasn't eating the right foods. I ate few vegetables, high-fat foods, and hardly any fruits. My food portions were also larger than a serving, which packed on more calories.

I'm not calorie counting or anything, but I am following these very important healthy eating habits:

1. Always eating breakfast: I usually eat first thing in the morning so that I have energy for my morning workout.

2. Eating fruit with breakfast or as a snack: Fruit adds a needed sweetness to my morning meals and afternoon sweet tooth. Plus, it's low in fat and calories.

3. Always measure portion size: This is very important. I bought a small kitchen scale and I use measure cups and spoons.

4. Eating 1-2 cups of vegetables with afternoon and evening meals: Vegetables are low in fat and calories, but can be quite filling. It also helps to thinking of vegetables as your main dish and meats/grains as your side.

5. Cook at home & bring food from home: It makes my backpack heavier, but I save money and cutback on snacking on high calorie foods.

Weekly grocery shopping, preparing food sometimes ahead of time, and daily cooking have been welcomed lifestyle changes for me. As I approach the last week of Dr. Ian's 30-day Meal Plan, I'm hoping to gain more knowledge on healthy restaurant eating. Be on the look-out for my posting on the weight loss on the 30-day Meal Plan.

Introducing My Fitness Adventures

Last year I began the first part of my fitness adventure by training for a half marathon. I believed that such competition would motivate me to exercise and lose weight. I got up to walking and running 12 miles, so I'd say I accomplished that goal. However, not reaching my fundraising minimum and not being able to compete in the actual marathon really dampened my fitness period. Any attempted of exercise after January was half-hearted and I slowly began to gain more and more weight. With additional stress from my job and former roommate, I began spiraled in and out of lethargy, moodiness, and sleeplessness.

Then I saw the light. Receiving my acceptance to Brown University for graduate school gave me a refreshed outlook and new beginning. I wanted a clean slate in Rhode Island. I wanted to use all my lessons and growth from college and teaching in NYC to be my own person. If I really wanted to lose weight and be fit, I had to change my lifestyle- more activity, fruits & vegetables, and less fatty foods and alcohol. I also had to nurture my spiritual growth and find a church home.

I've been in Providence, RI for two months now and the changes in my lifestyle are beginning to show. Join me in my fitness & weight loss experience!

Re-vamped and ready to go!

Hello all!

Yes, it's been a long while since I've shared my personal journey with you. Over the past few months, there has been lots of reflection, change, and transition. I've relocated to a different state and am now in graduate school. I decided to follow my dreams, no matter who or what I had to leave behind in NYC. Sad, but true. However, as I write this, I am sitting next to one of my good friends from NYC in my new apartment taking facebook quizzes. Having a sista'-friend has been so important to my very own personal growth!

As I begin this new journey, I hope to revisit some of the lessons from NYC as they reappear in my new place of residence, in addition to exploring new areas. You will join me for my journey through graduate school, an internship, dating, and gaining my own personal ground.

Thank you for joining me!