Past to Present: Leaving the Ex Behind

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory

Cause I put too much energy in him and me

Can't wait til I get through this phase cause it's killing me

Too bad we can't rewrite our own history

-Keri Hilson (Energy)

Every now and then thoughts of my ex/old friend hunt me. Yes, they hunt me. Past moments, good and bad, reply in my mind and I analyze them. Sometimes I try to see if it was a time where I didn't show that I cared or loved him. Other times I wonder if he was there for me like I needed him to be. Most of the time I think about our friendship- how much fun I had and how much I learned about myself.

The nostalgia for such friendship and adventure really makes me question whether or not I can stomach living away from my friends and family in Michigan. For example, today I woke-up wanting to have coffee with my Mom, help her cook/bake in our kitchen at home, then escape to hang out with one or several of my friends to have "girlfriend" time. That past relationship filled those gaps away from home and now I'm struggling to do it on my own. I'm not saying I need to be in a relationship with a man to feel grounded in my new city, but I do need relationships, as in friendships, to help me bond and associate with others in a similar way that I would with my family and friends at home.

So far, I've been blessed with a select bunch that kinda "get me" and have really helped me transition into my new surroundings. I hope that the memories that I create on my own and with my new friends will replace the ones that hunt me from the past.

Do you think you can live away from family and close friends? What do you think you would need?