Buddy for life?!

Once again, it's been a long time. Lots of blossoming going on over here! (I'll list my accomplishments later.)

The events in this post have been manipulated to hide the identity of the individual and incorporates additional stories that relate to the overall theme of the post.

Lately, I've been troubled by an ongoing "buddy" relationship. It all started with my regular, end of school year visit back home, where a long time "buddy" is also attend graduate school. This guy and I go way back, to my undergraduate days. We were never an together, but of course were together in other ways. Initial intentions when we met: I want to be with him. Fast forward to junior year- we were in a campus organization together and the boundary was set between us. We dated other people, etc. Fast forward to post-graduation where we continued our separate lives, keeping abreast of each other through mutual friends. We both had our own relationships, no biggie. Fast forward to, the last two years where we reconnected and caught up as "friends" with a continued physical attraction between us. He moved to my hometown to continue graduate school and we would "hang out", catch up, and ... yeah. This period became a time where we got reacquainted with each other, and I realized that I was just then really getting to know him. When I entered my graduate program on the east coast I accepted an internship position that allowed me to travel back home on an almost monthly basis. We continued getting to hanging out during these visits and of course, my feelings for him grew. Now, presently, our current arrangement has gotten old to me and I continuously question "What's next? Where is this going?"

Bringing this up to him wasn't an easy task since before, I just went along with the arrangement. I knew my intentions, but didn't know if his were the same as when we first met or had they changed. After an emotional conversation, I know that the pattern has to change but I'm not exactly sure of its direction. Our intentions seem the same on the surface, but we're disagreeing on the timing. I brought my dilemma to my inner circle, which includes some that are tired of hearing about this ongoing struggle and some who are new to it, to help me make some sense of these thoughts and feelings.

Bottom line: If my end goal was to be with him and that is not able to happen, move on! I didn't begin our relationship wanting to be friends. I want to be his mate. Not in three years, but now. I want to begin to build that relationship in the present. He says the future. Game over! Right? Easier said than done. However, if there is something that I want, which is to build a relationship with the guy that has the qualities that I appreciate and desire, then that is the direction that I need to go. This old "buddy" is not in that direction.

It's going to be hard, but I have to mentally separate myself from him. Moving on!

"Don't Set Your Purse on the Floor!"

There's a saying "A purse on the floor is money out the door", but I wonder if that only applies to the financially challenged. Celebrity stylist, June Ambrose obviously has no issue with it. Maybe her money out the door is more like my car payment or even rent payment.

I think I'd have money out the door no matter where I put my purse. Fortunately, I wont have the dirt and germs from a floor on the bottom of my moderately-priced purse. Speaking of, I'm stepping my purse game up this season!

*Jas*

Values from Parents

I asked a new friend to tell me about his most favorite memory growing up in another country. I was curious to hear of any cultural differences or learn a little bit more about his upbringing. He said that he had mostly good memories of traveling with his family and spending the Christmas holiday at his grandma’s house. He then started to speak about his father, who passed away a few years back. He said that his father always expected the best from him and his siblings and nothing less. Always excellence. His father instilled that within him to the point where he constantly thinks about how his choices affect this family and strives to be the best to make his family proud and honorable. Hearing my friend talk about his father and the values instilled within him made me take a deeper look at the young man in front of me. It also made me reflect on my own personal values and how I portray them in my everyday life. What values did your parents instill in you that make you who you are today?

For me, I'd say excellence ("Don't do anything half-assed!"), neatness (chores galore), and openly communicating my thoughts and feelings (tantrums didn't get you much in my household). I'm sure there are more, but these would be where I would start. There are also values and traits that my parents have that I haven't necessarily picked up, which could be good and bad. Ha! What values or traits do your parents have that you wish or don't wish to develop?

*Jas*

Written on the eve of two important birthdays. Happy Birthday to my momma & grandma!

Starting Over

Last September, I wrote this post proclaiming my desire to transform my lifestyle into a more healthy and active one. The first semester as a full-time graduate student had a few ups and downs, and so did my lifestyle change. There were a few successes and a few more days of poor eating choices, followed by lack of activity. As the new year approached and I returned home to Michigan, I once again attempted to get a heads up in my lifestyle transformation. Instead of waiting to January 1st to resolve to exercise, eat healthy, and eventually lose weight, I did it when I returned to Michigan. Yes, right around the holidays.

Momentum was going strong! Once my internship began, I had my gym bag packed and made it to the gym every evening for one and a half weeks. It was awesome! But then, the unpredicted happened. My work-gym routine strayed away from me as my social and family life collided. New pleasures were explored, while new demands came my way. One and a half weeks later, pent up energy needs to be released (productively) and an abandoned iPod with new earbuds is calling my name.

In my mind, there's no need to wait until January 1st to resolve to become a better you! Strive for it everyday :-)

*Jas*

Extra, Extra Screen All the Brown People

This has been on my mind. So the young Nigerian man flew from Nigeria and stopped in Amsterdam before arriving to the US and having his master plan destroyed by that young director (thank god!). Now, TSA has implemented "random" enhanced screening for passengers on U.S.-bound flights. But Amsterdam or any other major European cities (Zurich or London) that are hubs for transfers or layovers to/from African countries are on this "extra screening" list. Therefore, even if people are being screened twice using whichever methods in these 11 countries, exchanges can be made in the transfer/layover cities, especially now since suspensions are focused so heavily on these 11 countries. My momma always told me, "Don't do anything half-assed!" If you're going to beef up security, do it on all US-bound and domestic flights, whichever. Go hard or go home, because if I thought about it, "they" already have, but probably in a more sophisticated and destructive way. Thoughts people?

Happy New Year!

Gettin' it in for 2010!

Any other corny lines for the new year?

Latest Pubic (Physical) Assault & the Resulting Apology

I usually don't bring my computer to bed, but I wanted to release my thoughts on this "Breaking News" before it hunted me in my dreams. Yes, according to the local news this evening, this soccer fight, along with a local high school soccer fight, were breaking news. Not the voting on Obama's health care bill, but girls fighting during their soccer games.

Now, I don't condone physical violence, at all. However, in all of today's reports there was no mention of the elbow in the chest or shorts pulling done by the "victim". In 2 of the 3 incidents, the female from the University of New Mexico, Elizabeth Lambert, strongly reacts to her opponent's small jabbings with full-out, physical contact, usually taking her opponent down.

Following the incident, Lambert apologized for her actions.

"I let my emotions get the best of me in a heated situation. I take full responsibility for my actions and accept any punishment felt necessary. This is in no way indicative of my character or the soccer player that I am. I am sorry to my coaches and teammates for any and all damages I have brought upon them. I am especially sorry to BYU and the BYU women's soccer players that were personally affected by my actions. I have the utmost respect for the BYU women's soccer program and its players."

Her apology was 10x better than this guys' for this incident involving our nation's President! He still has his job. Ron Artest paid a fine and continued playing basketball. It's despicable how many politicians, celebrities/entertainers do something illegal, disrespectful, racist, sexists or violent and get off with a simple apology.

This young lady was suspended indefinitely from playing soccer for her behavior. Is this going to help her with beating people down when she gets "heated" and "in the moment"?

I think society is sending the wrong message sometimes...

-Jas